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| Remember when all the boys were electric?
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I am happy, at peace and at ease.
Life should be uncomplicated, free of expectations (because more expectations will increase the probability of more disappointments)
When you love/ live/ give/ feel/ dance, love/ live/ give/ feel/ dance freely, give it your all and expect nothing in return. Don't think about what's going to happen next, don't worry about the past, just Be. Freeze-frame, live in the moment.
Experience every emotion (every siren is a symphony/ every tear is a waterfall)
Youth is the golden age, we're strong and unbreakable, we can conquer kingdoms and fight off fire-blowing dragons as long as we have each other
/ To hold at night, or when we feel the loneliest, when we realise that we are still, only human.
That the wild giddy rush of happiness is only temporary, that the sweetest, most tender of moments are just that - moments. You try your best to capture and engrave these into your heart, your memory: the warmth of his hand, how your hands fit comfortably together, the sound of his heartbeat, your head on his chest, his arm enveloping around you, his presence, his voice, the stars, both of you encased in a bubble, along with all your (spoken/unspoken) dreams, secrets, hopes, longings, fears, vulnerabilities.
His electric touch
But you know memories will never match up to the intensity of that moment, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself to slow down, breathe, remember every single detail
You only live once/ I'll try anything once
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Krav Maga
Oktoberfest
Animal Day
6000 Miles Away
OMS Open Mic
A group meeting on a Sunday, with a really awesome dinner + ice cream after
40 Hands - it's been a while, I missed the coffee so much !!!
Ukulele
Muay Thai
Pointe Class aka 45 minutes of heaven
Chick flick day with Jia, where we did our hair and talked about boys
Midnight in Paris, One Day
Beer, and stargazing
Good talks with friends
Sharing music, sharing secrets
Spending time together
Oh and yes, studies. Essays, projects, assignments.
This procrastination monster is not backing down easily: I've got an essay due in two days' time (untouched), 2 essays due on Monday (untouched), and 3 other essays due in the... near future
Welcome to the life of a Uni procrastinator-student with 6 mods
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Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope but failure's all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration,
And let it go, let it go | | |
| When i said ' I can see me in your eyes',
you said 'I can see you in my bed',
that's not just friendship that's romance too,
you like music we can dance to,
Sit me down,
Shut me up,
i'll calm down,
and i'll get along with you
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Can't believe Recess Week was just last week
Time is going by too fast
On Sunday, we caught LINKIN PARK at the Padang (is that the place I cannot remember...)
It was soooooooo good. Brought me back to the secondary school days - drowning in all this nostalgia
They played new and old songs, and (I really like their new songs) hearing their old songs was really comforting. It's been ~8 years and they still sounded/felt the same.
Constancy is precious
Also, Mike Shinoda (and his hair) is yummy
And the company was lovely - couldn't have asked for a better group of friends, honestly
4 of us went to Macs after that and it felt so cosy, sitting all the way at the back of Macdonalds, talking, listening to music, staying out till late even though we all had morning classes the next day
being in the present - this is what we do, because we are young, we are invincible
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Wednesday was the epic utown starbucks studying session
Epic not because of the amount of time I spent there (though we did leave after midnight) but because I had to rewrite my philo essay that night, and it was due the next day
Work well under stress but not so much
Thankfully was armed with great friends and company and hot chocolate. Makes everything instantly better
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Friday was a much-needed chill day
Managed to sleep more (than the 4 hours or less I've been getting the past few days) but got so grumpy doing my John Locke reading because....I really don't agree with his POV.
Anyway went to Littered With Books, spent quite a while there. I love that place, the smell, the feel of being surrounded by great books, the music,
Homely, tucked away in a corner away from the crowds, secluded
Group Therapy was so lovely and magical too!
I love all these small random places, hidden away and when you're in them, it's as if time stopped and all that matters is the present.
And the company plays the most important part in this and my company was lovely
Then
the lights reflected on the river from MBS, the night sky (with only a single bright satellite), sitting by the river, ice-cold beer,
pulsating beats, music we can dance to, dark room neon lights, tapping feet to the beat, warmth
UNDER THE COVER OF DARKNESS/ LAST NIGHT/ DAKOTA
I enjoyed every single moment
Not forgetting this in a long while (now it's getting cliche, but some days really do stay gold forever <3)
Today Daryl Jia and Ammar came over for mahjong!
It was nice having them around, we're comfortable with each other and this is timely - much-needed time to pull away from whatever troubles and stress and just...be.
Mahjong, friends, music. Nice and easy
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I want to go backpacking. To anywhere, really. Just want to travel and discover new sights, new people, new cultures, new music, new forms of dance, new food,
make snow angels, go skydiving, stargaze (and talk about our dreams and regrets), stand on rooftops, take photographs, walk many miles with you
| | |
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So many fish there in the sea
I wanted you, you wanted me
That's just a phase, it's got to pass
I was a train moving too fast
Didn't understand what to see
Yeah, then I got a different view
It's you...no.
Wait, I'm gonna give it a break.
I'm not you friend,
I never was.
I said wait, I'm gonna give it a break.
I'm not your friend,
I never was.
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Yes, every word.
(I'm gonna give it a break, I'm not your friend, I never was)
I have learnt...never to trust your words, and never to trust/ hope in all these plans we made together
No. You can't just say one thing and mean another, or don't put into action what you said (typed in words, rather)
I think I deserve better than to try and be the only one trying to salvage whatever's left of our friendship (which isn't much anyway)
So no more entertaining your [meaningless] messages, plans that don't amount to anything and whatnot, unless you start to mean every word you say.
(Thought about telling you this directly, but I realised a) it won't get through to you, you would just tell me how everything is okay in words again, b) it won't get through to you, typing this here to remind myself how you're really like
You make me less of who I really am; I don't need this
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Anyway bitchy rant over, IT'S FRIDAY, the last weekday of Recess Week and where did the time go?
Saturday, spent the day with Tim and we went for MARIINSKY'S DON QUIXOTE at night and IT WAS SO LOVELY
Mariinsky Ballet, which produced Nijinsky, Nureyev, Pavlova.....
To watch the dancers was like A DREAM COME TRUE
The set, the costumes (SO PRETTY), the technique, the energy, their grace, everything came together and the whole ballet was like a fluid, seamless piece of fabric, where everything intertwined in all the right places
One of the most magical moments ever
I remember Monday, it was raining, I had my red fuzzy big sweater, spent the afternoon watching the animated version of The Lord of The Rings with you, homemade iced tea, nachos, lots of pillows, hidden safely away from the pouring rain
Warm and cozy
That was exactly how I imagined a perfect rainy day
There was OMS BBQ on Tuesday night was East Coast Park!!
Which is damn far btw. Nicole Cat Zhimin Darren Arvin and I attempted (note: attempted) to go there from Utown via public transport but we gave up and took a cab from Paya Lebar
Anyway the BBQ was lots of fun: AWESOME COMPANY, good food whoo, warm gooey-on-the-inside marshmallows, continuous flow of music in the background, some alcohol (wink wink), talking, laughing
I think that was the epitome of 'having a good time'. No stress, no worries HAKUNA MATATA
And there's something therapeutic in buttering and bbqing chicken wings
We chilled at the BBQ pit till it was rather late, but it didn't feel like 2am. It felt like time stopped for a while, and it was just the group of us, talking drinking listening to the other group play their guitars underneath the black sky
Wednesday was EPICCCC.
So much fun and good music and AWESOME COMPANY
There was LYKKE LI at Esplanade with Jingming,
She is one-of-a-kind and she opened the show with Jerome!!! One of my favourite songs whoo.
And Dance, dance, dance was everything I hoped for
And after, went over for POPTART!
Sooooooo fun. Good songs, perfect company
Definitely therapeutic to DANCE ALL YOUR WORRIES AND TROUBLES AWAY TO GOOD MUSIC WITH YOUR GOOD FRIENDS without worrying about what anyone else thinks because they're all manically dancing too <3
And Mcgriddles tastes yummier at 5am
Thursday, spent the afternoon lazing around because I only slept for 2 hours (redbull, why didn't you give me wings instead), walked around the East, talking, laughing at your silliness
I enjoyed that. That's what friendships are (and should be, I think)
Easy, simple, no complications, being there for each other - giving advice, listening, your company
And Friday was the only day dedicated to studying
Even so....it wasn't exactly very productive because we had a nice long lunch, also discovered that lavender soy milk is actually not bad, listened to Switchfoot's new song (WHOO HOO), and I had to go for dance
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So that's 6 days of my Recess Week, and I'm glad I don't regret any moment :D
Don't feel like I've been neglecting my studies because I managed to get some done everyday (and also because the only major thing I've left undone is to read my soci Research Methods textbook, which I cannot bring myself to do it because anything math-related is horror to me)
I've had an awesome week with my very awesome friends, did awesome things (both the laidback quiet ones, and the crazy adrenalin-rush ones)
Precious time spent with the people I love, I can't ask for anything more <3
Treasuring all these days, holding all these moments very close to my heart
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Like what The Strokes say,
You only live once: Why not try it all, if you only remember it once
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| I'm not the kind of fool
who's gonna sit and sing to you,
about stars, girl.
But last night I looked up into
the dark half of the blue,
and they'd gone backwards.
Something in your magnetism
must have pissed them off,
forcing them to get an early night.
I have been searching from
the bottom to the top
for such a sight
as the one I caught when I saw your
Fingers dimming in the lights
like your used to being told that you're trouble
and I spent all night
stuck on the puzzle
Nobody I asked
knew how he came to be the one
to whom you surrendered
Any man who wasn't led away
into the other room
stood pretending
That something in your magnetism
hadn't just made him drop
whoever's hand it was that he was holding.
I have been searching from
the bottom to the top
for such a sight
as the one I caught when I saw your
Fingers dimming in the lights
like your used to being told that you're trouble
and I spent all night
stuck on the puzzle
I tried to swim to the side
but my feet got caught in the middle
and I thought I'd seen the light
but oh no.
I was just stuck on the puzzle
Stuck on the puzzle.
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The time spent with my friends
Makes me feel like I'm enveloped in a comfy, over-sized, warm and fuzzy sweater, armed with a mug of hot chocolate
Familiarity, warmth
Like the night we took a walk at a park.
The moon (WAS SO BIG), the stars, the only lighted spot in the whole area, a guitar, songs that made my heart soar
And when we went for dinner and Spread the Love.
Enjoying the music, talking, cracking lame jokes, sharing in small pleasures like 1-for-1 Horlicks McFlurry
Falling in love
This is more than just friendship
We are young, we wear our hearts on our sleeves
Then as always, reality. Time still exists.
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And then, there's school.
I think my productive period starts from 7pm onwards till late (HAHA). The other day I stayed back to study with Emi in Utown, and it was really nice and conducive
We found a spot with a glass partition sheltering us from the rain, and anything is possible when you've got a power plug next to you, orange juice, haribo gummy bears, good music - Alex Turner, The Strokes -, and a fellow mugging friend
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It's been almost two weeks (or more than? Not sure, not really keeping track). I don't miss you at all, just sad at the way things turn out. But such is life.
| | |
| Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I'd do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
With you?
Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I'd do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
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Every word.
1230am. Got a morning class tomorrow, I know I should sleep soon but I'm not sleepy and I just had a lovely, perfect day and I kind of don't want it to be over (even though it technically is)
I think, at certain points in my life, there will be this period where my emotions go out-of-whack, and they begin this wide rollercoaster ride, hitting the highest highs and the lowest lows.
But the low I've been feeling lately isn't that bad - it's actually really trivial and unimportant and I'm just wasting my time thinking about it. Still, emotions have been rather mood-swingy lately.
What I've learnt from all these is, that I look to people - my close friends and family - to be my constants, my anchors, to weigh me down, keep me on the ground (instead of spiraling out of control), and to keep me sane.
And I find everything I need in them. So blessed and grateful that I have them.
And people who leave? Inevitable, friendships/relationships/nothing lasts forever. Sooner or later conflicts will happen, and/or people drift apart. But there's always something you can take away from that relationship; you shared a part of your life with each other for a reason (or perhaps this is all just bullshit and I'm just saying that to make myself feel better)
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Anyway! Back to today.
We were supposed to go to the Zoo, but it started raining, so we decided on the boring movie + dinner.
But the sky cleared up (even the weather is mood swinging), so we went to Haw Par Villa instead :)
It's a nice place. (Esp with the perfect company)
Stepping in felt like we went back in time. Felt like nothing has changed since the last time I was there (more than 10 years ago sigh I am not exactly very young anymore)
Walking through the park, listening to him telling me stories about the statues and exhibits, the sound of our footsteps, our voices as we talked about everything (and nothing), the comfortable silence as we took in the sights, coffee in one hand, linked arms, sweaty but so happy.
I love moments like these. Going to the randomest/ most hidden of places, and just enjoying each other's company. No rush, no worries about anything else, it's as if time stood still, and it's just us; everything is centered on us, the present.
Not going to forget this in a long time.
This is one person I will not easily forget.
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Then, there was Cars 2 at $3!!!!! With Ammar, Jia and Tim :)
And failed mahjong gathering where Tim had to leave and Jane overslept, so it was just Daryl and I lazing around and slacking at my house. I got him to change my guitar strings and tune it (hee hee), and we spent almost three hours with that guitar and my ukulele. Him playing pro guitar songs, me playing noob chords haha.
Had dinner with Jia, Jane, Jas, Ammar and Daryl after and times with them are always nice. Warm and cosy, familiar faces, easy conversations, reminiscing about our JC days. I'm so glad we still put aside time to meet up once in a while.
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Ah so much words typed but nothing about SCHOOL and THE HORRENDOUS AMOUNT OF WORK I HAVE.
Six modules.....sigh. And it's already Week 6. Time flies. I haven't found the perfect balance between Muay Thai, School, Dance, friends (and you)
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When darkness turns to light, IT ENDS TONIGHT
I'M MOVING ON | | |
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